When I was younger I used to feel like I was missing out on things that other kids had. A emotionally supportive Mother that cooked great meals every night and enrolled me in any talent classes I showed interest in , a nurturing Father who came to all my games and took me fishing every summer, or lots of clothes, big house with a yard and a dog, but I realized only when I got older that I was meant to not have those things to prepare me for the journey ahead. The journey that would include going without, being ingenious and creating a way for myself, patience. I was being sharpened for the road ahead that was meant for me. And I couldn’t have the luxury of those things that would have enabled me from enduring the struggle necessary to achieve and endure.
Now don’t get me wrong, I was blessed with a hard working family that provided for me and sustained my well being until adulthood and definitely loved me tremendously however we did not have the amenities that would give me lots of advantages as a child. Looking back on it, I was able to gain a sense of independence early on and a work ethic that was above average amongst my peers. You never know how Life is shaping out for you and sometimes it seems as if things are so unfair. Adopting a larger perspective one can understand that life isn’t always about fairness, it’s about growth, and when one realizes that one can see that everything happens for a reason and those reasons include your evolvement.
Besides not having all the amenities and advantages as a child I also had a lot of paradigms that I had developed such as social anxiety, low self-esteem, lack of courage. I moved through my earlier years with a huge internal challenge to find the belief in myself that I had value and that I could do something great with my life. We all start off as children with such fascination about the world and high hopes and dreams. Then life circumstances come in to tear up those beliefs. When so much of your circumstances discourage you, you begin to think that maybe your not good enough for the things that you hoped for and if you go years adopting those thoughts then you start to believe them as true. It wasn’t until I started to expand my knowledge beyond my school curriculum reading books like “ The Dream Giver “ by Bruce Wilkinson , “ The Alchemist “ by Paulo Coelho, and “ The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz that I started to see a light in the darkness of my internal struggles. Studying the lives of great figures that I admired like Vidal Sassoon, Oprah Winfrey, James Baldwin, Whoopi Goldberg, Langston Hughes , and many others I started to see a pattern. I recognized that struggle was actually necessary.
What all these subjects had in common was the will to overcome life circumstances to be reborn , in a sense, into something greater. Like a phoenix that rises from the ashes I was beginning to feel that childhood sense of hope again about what I could do with my life and what I could still accomplish. I believe, from my own experience, that life isn’t happening “ to “ you. Life is happening “ for “ you and everything that you go through is there to teach you and to help you grow. I had so much to learn from early on that I had a lot to also overcome. However I reference it to taking a 4 year undergraduate course verses going for the Doctorate Course. Some people achieve greatness later in life but the particular course in life that they had to experience was the prerequisite for that achievement. It couldn’t have come to they any sooner without having had the experiences required to sustain it. I went through the things that I went through because life was preparing me for the next phases and there are still more things to come that will teach me and help me to grow.
Now knowing better I have a new sense of hope and a comfort within my present moment. The past has taught me how to survive and how to rely on myself for the things that I wish to achieve. The past has also taught me how to be ok with who I am and where I’m at in life. There is always going to be someone who is doing worst then you and someone who is doing better then you. That can be a distraction if you allow it. Whats best is to stay focused on your own garden and to know that your life ( garden ) has great value and significance even if no one around you will acknowledge it. Because you are alive and as long as you are you can rest assured that you have purpose and that as you are diligently moving towards it, it is diligently revealing itself more and more every day, every month, and every year that passes.
You just have to stay in the game long enough to realize your hearts true potential. Even if you don’t have what you think you should have our achieved yet what you think you should have achieved already there is comfort in knowing that there is still so much more to come and so much more to look forward to. Keep going, you never know what can happen.